Prince Harry at 40: ‘Hands on dad’, Meghan making a fuss, but a ‘tinge of sadness’ as he looks back

As seen in Ok! UK

He was once the cheeky chap who could do no wrong. Beloved for his sense of humour and the mischievous twinkle in his eye, Prince Harry was ‘The People’s Prince’ who held a firm place in the nation’s hearts.

And, even though the last four years have added a very different chapter to his story, Harry is preparing to celebrate his landmark 40th birthday with his young family in sunny California. Indeed, it is his role as a father to Prince Archie, five, and Princess Lilibet, three, which has been the making of him, as a leading royal expert points out.

“There’s something about Harry that makes you think he was born to be a dad,” former BBC royal correspondent Jennie Bond exclusively tells OK! “Perhaps it’s his natural playfulness, of which we still get glimpses, or, rather more obviously, the fact that he told the world that he couldn’t wait to start a family of his own.”

Of all he had in life, it was fatherhood that Harry most craved. “I’ve longed for kids since I was very, very young,” he said back in 2012. “I’m waiting to find the right person and someone who’s willing to take on the job.”

He found that person in 2016 when he fell head over heels in love with Meghan Markle, and married her just two years later. Harry’s dream to become a father was realised when the couple’s son, Archie Harrison, arrived in 2019 and was later joined by a daughter, Lilibet Diana, in 2021. Just like any dad, there will be many important life lessons Harry can hope to teach his children as they immerse themselves in the idyllic Californian lifestyle.

“Harry has always been quite sporty and very competitive,” Jennie reflects. “I bet he gets the kids involved in all sorts of games and makes it incredibly fun, as well as teaching them skills like surfing or football. The warm weather and outdoor lifestyle in Montecito must make bringing up children a joy, so much easier to get them away from screens and TV, which Harry and Meghan clearly both feel very strongly about.”

While he remains focused on his charity work and position as a global ambassador for mental health and the environment, Jennie is certain Harry is an incredibly hands-on father.

“I think he is relishing his role as a parent and playing the fullest part he can in the lives of his two tots,” Jennie says. “He’s lucky enough to be able to share most of their lives so I’m sure Harry is a devoted dad and no stranger to nappy changing or school runs. I think he finds the security and anchor in his little family that was sadly missing in his own broken childhood home.”

It is true that his and Prince William’s upbringing was not always a happy one and was punctuated by a steady stream of emotional turmoil brought about by his parents’ messy separation and their very public take-downs of one another.

“It’s hard to know exactly when the damage wrought by his parents’ broken marriage began to make its mark on Harry,” Jennie muses. “He was only eight when Charles and Diana officially separated, but he had witnessed the marital difficulties long before that. I’m sure the insecurity of his own childhood has made him all the more determined to give his kids the perfect upbringing and to have them wrapped in a bubble of love and awareness of the love between their parents.”

In breaking this cycle, the family’s departure has seen Archie and Lilibet spend very little time with relatives on both sides of their family — something made even more challenging when they are connected to the most famous family in the world and still sit at sixth and seventh in line to the throne.

“This is the saddest part of their exile,” Jennie says. “At the moment, the children don’t know any difference, but as they grow up Harry and Meghan will have some delicate manoeuvring to negotiate to explain the situation. It must be something that troubles Harry as a dad.”

Despite his ongoing legal battle over security, Harry has said he wants to raise his children with a clear understanding of both sides of his heritage. Jennie adds, “Imagine Archie, aged 15, telling his friends, ‘My grandpa is/was King! And my uncle is/will be King too.’ But he hardly knew or met them. How sad… and Meghan would have to bear the brunt of the responsibility for that.”

I’m sure that, like Harry, she wants the very best for their children… and that will include an understanding of their background. I just hope that by the time Archie and Lili grow up, things will be calmer and the family more united, even if they continue to live thousands of miles apart. This is not the children’s fault or responsibility so let’s hope the adults can make it a better world for the next generation of royals.”

Prince Harry was born Henry Charles Albert David at St Mary’s Hospital, Paddington, on 15 September 1984, and it was quickly clear that, unlike his brother William, Harry had inherited his mother’s Spencer family genes as his tufts of red hair were visible in his early pictures.

His childhood was unsettled as he spent his time moving between Kensington Palace in London and Highgrove House in Gloucestershire — and later to Clarence House — when he was not away at boarding school.

This distance has seen Harry never shy away from placing blame on his father for his distance and priorities when he and his brother were young. While relations between Harry and his family are more of a chasm than a simple rift nowadays, it is clear there are still warm feelings between the father and son.

After Charles revealed his cancer diagnosis in February, his younger son made a 24-hour dash to the UK to visit him in a meeting that lasted less than 45 minutes. “The fact that I was able to get on a plane and go to see him, and spend any time with him, I’m grateful for that,” Harry said on Good Morning America a few days later, adding, “Any illness, any sickness, brings families together.”

Countless details of Harry’s relationship with his family have been splashed for the world to read, but if there is one person who has been a pillar of strength for him, it is his late mother, Diana, Princess of Wales.

Often referencing her decision to break free of the monarchy as an inspiration, Harry continues to look to Diana when it comes to major life decisions — as well as for a guiding hand in how to raise Archie and Lilibet. “Her sense of fun, of mischief, of open affection and love for her boys must carry through to Harry in the way he is bringing up the children,” Jennie says.

“She organised play days and work days for her sons… but Harry doesn’t have to worry about instilling that kind of discipline into his little ones and I think he will be delighted that they are free to choose their own way in life.”

Jennie’s view is echoed by family therapist Fiona Yassin, who exclusively tells OK!, “We know that Harry has had a lot of trauma throughout his life and this will undoubtedly impact the way that he chooses to parent. But it’s not only the trauma that will have an impact — how he was raised will also have a huge influence. Diana was certainly a very hands-on mother and this will no doubt be mirrored in Harry’s style and something he wants to replicate.”

Both Harry and Meghan frequently give updates on their children. In an interview in February on Good Morning America, Harry said, “The kids are doing great, growing up like all kids do very, very fast. They’ve both got an incredible sense of humour and make us laugh and keep us grounded every single day, like most kids do. I’m just grateful to be a dad.”

As for how Harry might expect to celebrate his big birthday, Jennie says, “I think Meghan will make a big fuss of her man as this is the first landmark birthday for him they have celebrated together. I imagine they’ll have a family day because that makes Harry happiest, and then a bit of a do in the evening with some of their closest celebrity friends in LA.”

Of course, there is another poignant royal milestone this month as 8 September marks the second anniversary of Queen Elizabeth II’s passing. Even though the late monarch did witness Harry and Meghan’s departure from royal life and their now infamous interview with Oprah Winfrey, she and her grandson once shared a special connection.

You only have to think back to that short video of Harry and his grandmother doing a ‘drop the mic’ skit publicising the Invictus Games to appreciate how well they got along,” Jennie reflects. “Harry has claimed that they had a pretty special relationship and I’m sure they were very close. Part of that was undoubtedly because Harry was so young when his mother died, and his granny was there to comfort him at Balmoral.”

“September is a month that will always be tinged with some sadness for Harry. Even though it is a time of celebration for him, it is one for reflection too. For Harry, that could well include some fond thoughts of the happy times he spent with his granny, even though their relationship was sadly strained in her final years.”

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